City Girl Astray

So, some of the things that I found out today were that my daughter may not get to graduate HS on time (originally scheduled programming was Class of 2008), that my son has a mysterious bruise, that my mother and little sister are insisting on staying in these bizarre unhealthy relationships and, oh yeah, I am also getting a weird feeling at work.

My son insists that he doesn't remember where he got the grapefruit sized bruise (how? I have no idea). I asked if anyone has been bullying him, and he insists, that no, no one has been. On the education front I am looking at possibly having to home school my daughter and as for my mom and sister? Well, lets just say that they both drive me nuts. When one is confronted with a situation the other is having with their significant other, they are shocked, amazed and not a little condescending in wondering just how the other can stay in their respective relationships. Now, consider this, if either one of them would take just 2 seconds to look outside themselves for a moment they would indeed see that they are in scarily similar situations.

I love my family and just want everyone to be happy. To see that they are worth their weight in gold, no...in platinum. That any guy that treats them badly for even a second, isn't "the one".

I've been there myself though, so I know what they feel, how they think. I've had the coast to coast serial dater, the abuser, the drug dealer, even the possible bi-sexual (still no confirmation on this one, I'll let ya know) in my life at some time or another. And so all I can hope for is that one day soon they will realize how terribly fabulous they are and say "see ya" to these guys.

I will try and keep closer tabs on my son, but really what's a parent to do? We can't go to school with our kids, unless we are independently wealthy and only work "for somethings to do".

On other fronts...

FYI, I can not find a Tae-bo DVD in any of my local stores. Apparently that has been replaced by "Billy Blanks Boot Camp", ugh! So I went to my on demand service and brought up 10 minute abs, yeah, I was only able to do about 3 minutes before I was panting like a woman in labor. But, I've been here before. I have to build up stamina after being a dormant hermit for so long. When I was doing Tae Bo, about a million years ago, I barely made it through the first 5 minutes of the moderate workout, which was 37 minutes long. Three months later I was doing the advanced 57 minute workout 4 days a week.

I have been feeling out of sorts lately, depressed and unfulfilled. Watching tonight's "Friday Night Lights" episode with the father/daughter dance, I was on the verge of tears. I felt like a failure because my daughter can never technically attend one of those dances (her father passed away). Meanwhile, ask me if we even have that sort of thing here, because I wouldn't have an answer. So why get so upset? I don't know.

And this whole trying to make a better life, a more exciting and satisfying life, for me and my kids has gotten me thinking of all sorts of things. Mostly about the mistakes I have made, and how they have affected my children.

I miss the wonder years, where my biggest worry was if the cute boy I liked (Albert) would talk to me that day. Where I was allowed to play outside sans parental supervision, because there wasn't a pedophile lurking on every corner. Where Saturday morning cartoons where the best thing since sliced bread and "Menudo" (remember Ricky Martins braces and curls?) was considered risque.

I don't know maybe I will feel differently tomorrow, maybe I won't, who knows.

Labels: depresssion, exercise, parenting, relationships, safety